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I seize my time
After coming back from Riga last weekend, my week was characterized by a combination of socialising with Austrailans who visited Vilnius, solving case studies for Strategic Management lectures and every eveing relaxing in Kinopavasaris (Vilnius film festival) and seeing some really great movies such as; the cave of the yellow dog, angels of fast motion, stay, capote, live and become and, I am. The two last ones, live and become and I am were by far the best ones and made me speechless in a way. The girl who joined me to watch them also gave me a really nice company and on Friday we went for a drum and bass party together. Driven by the feeling of the bass in the stomach we let ourselves go to the music until 5 in the morning. It was a truly good feeling.
The week to come is waiting with a few more surprises and challenges amongst them a very promising job interview at a well known logistics company and an exam in strategic management.
also I will see another movie and will have to seriously start writing my research papers in finance and brand analysis.
"sometimes, we do something, somehow, and that leads to profit"
"it is not always good to have knowledge about procedures, if your task is to change them"
the boss of the company where i had interview
What I have and what I dont have
What I have these days
- a suitcase with clothes for 3 weeks
- a laptop with music and pictures for 3 weeks
- friends whole over Europe plus one each in USA and in Uganda
- my great family in Germany
- a brother I like who lives in Germany
- a brother I don't like who lives in Switzerland
- a host mother and 3 host sisters here in Lithuania
- a half finished bachelor degree
- an internship that would provide me a lot of freedom
- a cosy room on the top floor
- permamnent internet access
- a camera which says that I have taken 7470 pictures in one year
- two mobile phones
- a sleeping bag
- three badminton rackets
- three pairs of shoes
- tomato-mozarella sauce imported from Germany
- personal freedom
- the feeling of belonging to Europe
- a health insurance
- a visa for Russia
- dozens of opportunities
- an open future
What I dont have these days.
- a life insurance
- a bicycle
- a proper haircut
- a car or minibus
- a place to play badminton
- shares to play a bit at the stock market
- allergy against sth. I like
- knowledge to create online surveys
- lack of ideas
- lack of opportunity
- traveling plans for the summer
- plane tickets to Germany
- much personal contact to my real friends
- much money to visit them
- a ticket for a Lithuanian basketball game
- a registration number for Lithuania
- a personal doctor
- a third party liability insurance
- an i-pod
- an own flat
- a plant or a flower
- a pillow
The concept of moral
Not so long ago, I published here that I was wondering, if not disagreeing, how a person can have a too high moral.
I have to admit that, I could also say that few people really do have too high moral.
What I mean is that in today's society many people don't care much about moral, values or honesty anymore. Actually it would be naiv to believe that one could meet a person that sticks to his or her values in the same way they do it. I meet people who talk about values but do not live a single of them in practice, and on the other hand I meet people who seem to have such high moral that they will probably never find a person who can fulfill this. However, both can result in disatisfaction.
So this leads me to the conclusion I usually end up with, which is that you have to find a balance between taking a few important issues completely rational and others rather easy.
priests & bitches
Yesterday, I was on probably the craziest party I have ever had.
The theme of the party was "priest & bitches" which means guys had to dress like a priest and girls were expected to look like prostitutes. Although girls pretty much fit their role, the guys were not really behaving like priests. When I arrived at the party I was received with a lot of kisses and full body contact by some 4 or 5 girls. I did not know how to react. The party was already fully under way meaning everyone was dancing, kissing, drinking, and chatting up basically everyone of the 20 guests. As I was obviously shocked and ashamed and not yet in the same mood as they were, and so I started drinking white and red wine. It did not take me long to get into the right mood and to fully enjoy the joyful atmoshpere. However I overshot the mark and had to give up drinking soon. Later we wanted to go to some club in town but I did not manage to go and fell asleep on the sofa, as people told me. The next thing I remember is that I woke up in someone's bed and two mature women sleeping next to me. One with red and one with blond hair, just like a dream. I was shocked ... I really had to look twice to believe my eyes. I am still wondering what is their relationship towards each other. Anyway when we got up they told me that they did not behave like real bitches do and that nothing has happened. The flat was awesome and very well designed with all the latest sophistication in heating, kitchen and entertainment system. We had fruit breakfast together and stayed talking til the afternoon and one of them drove me home.
My family smiled and remained silent when I entered the door.
This was by far the most intensive party in such a short period of time. Actually, I want to have such a party again as it was really great fun. People just let go, forget about everything and enjoy the party according to the theme.
Today I am going to another Lithuanian party so let's see where I wake up tomorrow ;-)
Having achieved an internship offer and after finishing my intensive courses at university, there was suddenly nothing to do. Now I have a plan to follow that is likely to last til Spring/Summer 2007. However, from one day to the next my motivation went down to 0, I woke up and did'nt know what to do with this day and it stayed like this for the rest of the week. I knew that it will come sooner or later but also go again. So I guess til the middle of this week it will stay like this. Thursday it will change as I will finally meet my favorite sister.
Today, I called the one and only person who is always taking time for me and this actually saved my day. Once again I noticed that she has a serious place in my heart and that except from the distance, nothing has really changed for us.
Still, I will have to give it time ...
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What am I trying to do?
- to find my place in Europe
- to find a person whom I can develop with
- to gain more work experience and to find a field that I like doing
- to finish my bachelor degree with B or better
- to become more independent
How am I trying to do it?
- to stay at different places for longer than simply 5 month
- to find who that person could be, or to find out who she is
- start my internship and try out several different projects
- through finding a supportive coordinator and a company that has a real interestin apllying the findings
- earn my own money, pay my own bills
What are my assumptions?
- that I will find it one day eventually stay at one place, that it really is in Europe
- that there is such a person, and that I can stay with that person, and that I will value having such a person
- that I will sign the contract and that I will like the job
- that I will find enough motivation to really do it
- that I earn enough to save a portion, that my financial needs will not increase a lot
What if my assumptions were wrong?
- then I will keep on changing environments
- then I will never be able to share the great things in life and I will keep on being not close enough to anybody
- then I better start looking for a 2nd internship opportunity already
- then I better do only things that keep me motivated
- then I won't be able to create my own life the way I want it to be and will become the slave of someone I can accept being the slave of
sounds like a nice plan that I should do something about the small steps that are neccesary to make it become true.
What would the situation be like if I would be there already?
- I would have found the stability I need while carefully making changes that challenge me but do not affect this stability too much.
- I would be able to share everything i always wanted to and i would just have to be careful how to keep enjoying and valuing this
- I would have a serious base to go on developing my career while sticking to my values
- will be added